MLB! Show The Streakers!

    During the most recent Texas Rangers game against the Detroit Tigers, a streaker decided to race across the field at Globe Life Stadium.

    Video attached here for your consumption:

    As is the industry standard, television cameras quickly panned away from the perambulator and the commentators refused to mention the on-field shenanigans- leaving one to exclaim ‘NO! TURN THE CAMERA BACK”.

    One could hear from the crowd that there was a tremendous amount of audience noise. The entire crowd could be heard laughing and cheering the streaker on. The television shots of the teams clearly showed that the players had all paused and were watching something. In a bout of physical hijinks reminiscent of something from a silent movie, particularly wide shots of the field showed security scrambling from their positions and rushing towards the field, making several failed attempts to tackle the hooligan.

    The entire charade in Arlington last night was hilarious- and it is time that the television cameras show it.

    Your stodgy grandfather and your hot-house-petunia mother-in-law may say something to the effect of ‘Don’t show the streakers, you’ll only encourage more of them at the next game’, but would that be so bad?

    Imagine being drunk in the stands (probably the nose-bleeds in my case) with 4 of your closest buddies when a streaker breaks over the barricades and sprints around the field- can you imagine yourself doing anything other than laughing hysterically? Further, would you not be more likely to buy a ticket for a game if you knew that during a lull there may be some harmless mid-game misbehaviour? I would posit that audience attendance would likely soar if prospective fans knew there was a 50% chance that something like this might go down.

    Indeed, if the MLB were clever, they might even arrange a streaker or two themselves. A team could pay $500 bucks to some brother of a team employee, promise that the stadium cops would not actually arrest him, and dispatch the troublemaker during slow moments of the game to rile up the audience and keep television viewers from clicking between channels. (Of course, a team would not do this during a game like the Mets vs. The Sox during the 1986 World Series, but maybe if the Orioles did this more often- someone would actually watch).

    In any case, certainly, this would be more satisfying to the audience than watching retired players who are commentating, feign conversation while EVERYONE can tell something much more interesting is going on on the field.  

The decision to completely ignore the streakers against obvious audience interest is so unpopular and dreary that one may start to think that Roger Goodell had ceased his reign of terror on the NFL and become MLB commissioner (God spare us). If the MLB had any brains or any sense of humour, they would show the streakers!

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